Over the hills and far away, Teletubas come to play...
This page is funniest if you've got MS Kidprint True Type Font installed...
Welcome to the home of the Teletubas. We have been very lucky indeed to catch up with the characters recently and managed to record the first episode of their own program. Unfortunately immediately afterwards they found the bar again (very short memory span due to long term Tubatustard exposure) and have not left it again since, hence no other episodes have been made yet. We did manage however to interview the colourful creatures, and have compiled a brief study of them and all the other things that inhabit the wonderful world of Tubaland. We have also created a FAQ describing the likely origins of our friendly foursome.
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| Drinky Winky | Tipsy | Laa Gaa | Pee |
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| Tubatrumpets | The Clefmill | The Tubahouse | Tubatustard |
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| Tubakeemanaanbreadwithextragarlic | |||
So where did the Teletubas originate from? It is thought that the Teletubas evolved from the descendants of an unsuccessful scientific experiment designed to create 'The Most Successful Brass Band in the World Ever' in the late 21st Century. A mad professor musician had the idea that by combining the components of the instruments and players into a single organism, all technical problems associated with music making could be eliminated. However early experiments proved dangerous after the creatures showed distinct violent tendances (especially after poor contest results), and with several of the 'Instruplayers' escaping into society. These found that they could inflict severe injury on their human associates, and serious events culminated with a group of 'Humabones' famously killing several brewery workers by slide whipping during the infamous Humabone Beer Robbery of 2086. In an attempt to suppress some of these characteristics the later evolutions had a small television screen surgically attached to them. This played a video of 'Brassed Off' to give constant positive musical stimulation.
Some of the new breed did however successfully integrate with society, with one Sopracornman getting a job cutting diamonds with high frequency ultrasonic waves whilst another Tubaman was employed warning ships of dangerous rocks close to shore.
Due to the problems with the Instruplayers described above all the remaining examples were blasted into outer space in a concert class space cruiser together with one volunteer, the god-like Big Conductor about which little is known. His task was to help them settle on their new home planet outside the Solar System. Unfortunately their lack of interest in anything other than playing, drinking and eating curry resulted in most of the Instraplayers dying out with only the larger members of the species surviving. These have evolved into the creatures we now know as the Teletubas. Unfortunately their built in tele' screens can no longer show 'Brassed Off' due to the distances involved in transmitting to a planet several light years away from Earth.
Any more questions? No? Good! Now go and have a look at Episode 1